How Confident Are You?

Do you consider yourself to be a confident person?
Confidence is something that comes up with so many of my clients in some way, shape or form during our sessions. Often times, it’s their sense of self-confidence that’s holding them back from achieving greater happiness, success or life satisfaction.
Confidence isn’t always something that women articulate, or specifically share as a concern. They’re not saying, “I lack confidence”.. but it’s there… I see it in their body language, hear it in their tone, their choice of words, expression, or through delving deeper into conversations about why they’re feeling ‘stuck’.
Confidence can be understood as being split into 2 categories:
Interpersonal Confidence and Confidence in your Abilities/Skills.
Take a moment to reflect on how you feel about these 2 different sets of questions.
Do you avoid conflict?
Do you hate confrontation with others?
Do you struggle to say ‘NO’ to others?
How assertive are you in speaking your mind, and sharing your thoughts and opinions?
Are you always apologising to others?
 – You’re thinking about your interpersonal confidence here.
Do you feel self-conscious when completing certain tasks, or doing them in front of others?
Do you procrastinate often at work or with study?
Have you regretted things you didn’t do or didn’t achieve?
Do you get ‘stuck’ completing certain tasks, not knowing where to start?
 – This may be around your confidence in your abilities/skills.
Gaining clarity around where you need to work on your confidence, is a great starting point. You’ll need to get specific to be able to work through it. Identifying when and where your lack of confidence shows up, and considering what you’ve done (or not done) to try and improve on this is important in helping you move toward gaining greater confidence.
Working with a trusted Counsellor, Psychologist or Coach can be an effective way to help you gain greater self-confidence.
And, when you have greater self-confidence, and increased self-worth, this tends to mean that you can start doing so much more in your life, and you can feel so much more at ease in what you’re doing – both socially and professionally.
Increased self-confidence has so many flow-on effects in every aspect of your life! You can feel lighter, more productive, more connected in your relationships, you can accept successes and compliments, feel excited to plan new activities and challenges, take risks, experience new adventures… and you’ll enjoy your life with much more excitement, passion and happiness!


Wendy Gilroy is a Mother of 2, and a professional Counsellor for women. Wendy has a degree in Psychology, a Masters degree in Addiction Studies, and a Diploma of Counselling. She lives in Sydney, Australia, and offers secure ONLINE counselling for women around the world, as well as telephone, face-to-face and home visit services for  mums.

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Disclaimer: This is for information purposes only. If you have any concerns about your physical or mental health, please consult your healthcare practitioner for medical advice.