A Reminder for Every Mother
When you aren’t looking after you, are you letting your family down?
Too often, mothers are ‘surviving’ each day. They’re doing their absolute best to love and care for their families; ensuring that everyone is fed, taking care of their home, ensuring the groceries are done, school lunches are packed, uniforms are washed, bills are paid, work gets done (turning up on time can be a challenge in itself!).
Then there’s remembering all those family birthdays, buying party gifts in time for the weekend, phoning your girlfriends (especially the ones who remind you of who you are, and help to ground you in tough times), looking after others who depend on you, contributing to your community in some way… and the list goes on, and on, and on! It can be a huge mental load, that mothers all around the world, carry with them.
Yep, some days or weeks can be downright EXHAUSTING!
Now, whether it’s due to the hectic pace of your life, the lack of support around you, challenges with your emotional or mental health, or simply because you’ve never learnt to function any other way, being in survival mode, is not ideal. It’s highly likely that traveling through motherhood in survival mode will take a toll on your health, wellbeing, and/or your family in some way.
Wouldn’t you love to learn how you can start to THRIVE as a mother? …To enjoy more of those small moments each day?… to be more present with those around you…. to remember how much YOU matter… to remember who you were prior to having children? …to remember why you chose your life partner?
All of this stuff matters – big time.
I’ve worked with many mothers who are stressed, anxious, feel down, are sad or angry, or feel disconnected from the people who matter most in their life.
In order to start turning these feelings around, it is critical that “self-care” becomes front of mind for you.
Self-care looks and feels different for every mother.
Whatever YOU need, is absolutely okay.
You need to start honouring these parts of yourself.
For some, it might be about getting more sleep, more relaxation or ‘down time’. For others it may be about having more fun, socialising with friends, re-connecting with your creativity, or self-development work. For others, making important shifts around health, nutrition and lifestyle are top priorities that have fallen by the wayside, well, because every day is just so crazy busy!
We need to simplify self-care for mothers.
If it feels too hard – then simply put – you’re not doing it right for you.
Self-care should feel good, or exciting, like something that is ‘yours’ and you look forward to doing it each day, each week or each month.
Mind Momentum’s Quick Guide to Self-Care for Mums:
Grab a piece of paper and split it into 3 columns:
Now think of at least 1 activity that you can add under each time-frame.
Daily activities may be short – between 10 and 30 minutes.
This could be drinking your fave tea / coffee / wine in absolute blissful silence at some time of the day or evening – a time where you can quietly think, reflect and enjoy the moment, without being tugged on, yelled at from the other room, or having to look at your phone. Or, it could be going for a walk or jog on your own, it could be journalling. The list is endless!
Weekly activities may be longer between 30mins to a couple of hours
This may be going to the gym, a yoga class, playing a team sport, doing study, playing music or catching up with a friend (kid-free of course!)
Monthly activities may be a half-day, full day or even take up a whole weekend.
This could be date night, weekend away with the girls (or your partner), going on a road trip / new adventure.
Once you accept that you need self-care in your life, you can embrace yourself, acknowledge that self-care is self-love, and this can change your life.
You can reduce those feelings of overwhelm, stress, anxiety, depression… you can feel more connected and positive to those around you… you can be more present and mindful, you can increase your sense of confidence and self-worth… you can grow your emotional and mental wellness… you can start to thrive!
Wendy Gilroy is a Mother of 2, and a professional Counsellor for women. Wendy has a degree in Psychology, a Masters degree in Addiction Studies, and a Diploma of Counselling. She lives in Sydney, Australia, and offers secure ONLINE counselling for women around the world, as well as telephone, face-to-face and home visit services for mums.
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Tips for Reducing Stress and Anxiety in your Day.
Disclaimer: This is for information purposes only. If you have any concerns about your physical or mental health, please consult your healthcare practitioner for medical advice.