Many Australian Mums are Struggling to Return to Work – Here’s Why

mother and children
 

You might think that after being on parental leave for a year, or having taken a longer period of unpaid leave, that returning to work would be a matter of getting your childcare organised, updating your wardrobe and getting back into a routine.

But for many mums, it isn’t that simple.

In fact, returning to work after having children can bring up a surprising mix of emotions — anxiety, guilt, grief, excitement, confusion and even a sense of “I don’t know if I want this anymore.”

And there may be a very good reason for that.

1. Motherhood can change what you want from work

Before children, your career may have been an important part of who you were. Perhaps you loved your job, worked hard to build your career and felt proud of your achievements.

Then you became a mum.

Motherhood can shift your priorities, values and perspective in ways you never anticipated.

You may start questioning things you previously accepted without thinking:

Does this work still feel meaningful to me?
Do I really want to work these hours?
Is this what I want to spend my energy on?
How much of my life do I want to give to my career now?

Sometimes, the problem isn’t that you’ve lost your ambition.

It’s that your definition of a happy and meaningful life has changed.

2. Returning to work doesn’t mean returning to your old life

The practical reality of working while raising young children can be relentless.

There are childcare drop-offs and pick-ups, sick days, appointments, meals, laundry, household responsibilities and the endless mental load of keeping family life running.

And returning to paid work doesn’t necessarily mean someone else takes over all those invisible responsibilities.

So you can find yourself trying to be fully present at work while simultaneously thinking about what’s happening at home.

You may feel like you’re failing at work when your child needs you, and failing at motherhood when work demands so much from you, too.

No wonder so many mums feel overwhelmed, and struggle with the juggle of motherhood and paid work.

3. You may not be struggling with work; you may be struggling with the transition

Returning after an extended period at home is a major life transition.

You may be grieving the baby years that are ending, questioning your identity, worrying about whether you’ve lost your professional confidence or wondering whether you can really have the career and family life you want.

And perhaps the answer isn’t to simply “get back to normal.”

Because you may not be the same woman who went on parental leave.

Motherhood may have changed you (I guarantee, it has), but that’s not necessarily a problem to fix.

It may be an invitation to rethink what you want your working life to look and feel like now.

Perhaps returning to work isn’t about finding your way back to the woman you were before children.

Perhaps it’s about discovering what the next version of your life looks like, and finding work that fits the woman you’ve become, and the family you’re caring for.

Wendy Gilroy

Wendy Gilroy is a Mother of 2, and a professional Counsellor for women. Wendy has a degree in Psychology, a Masters degree in Addiction Studies, and a Diploma of Counselling. She lives in Sydney, Australia, and offers secure ONLINE counselling for women around the world, as well as telephone, face-to-face and home visit services for  mums.

Disclaimer: This is for information purposes only. If you have any concerns about your physical or mental health, please consult your healthcare practitioner for medical advice.