Do You Expect Too Much of Yourself?
It seems that quite often, many of us have really high expectations of ourselves – whether at work, in a relationship, in our role as a mother, in sport, or with our body image / sense of self.
And, sometimes, these high expectations that we hold, can be the cause of much stress, anxiety or worry, feelings of inadequacy, or a fear of being judged by others, or being unable to cope on some level.
Do you ever feel this way?
Perhaps, you’ve never stopped to really think about this, or maybe, no-one has brought it to your attention. It may just feel that you’re ‘not good enough’ at times, or, you may consciously (or unconsciously) compare yourself to others.
Maybe you recognise yourself as a perfectionist at times – but you’re not quite sure why you feel the need to be this way?
Placing expectations on yourself can be very self-limiting.
If you don’t ease up on the way you treat yourself, you may find yourself heading down the path of chronic stress, anxiety or depression.
It’s wonderful to have goals, ambitions, high standards, strong morals, values and ethics… but to have a constant, specific and high expectation of yourself (that you can’t seem to attain or maintain), can be damaging.
Because, this leaves no ‘happy place’ for you, when you achieve anything less than this expectation.
You have your personal strengths, you have your set of morals, beliefs and values that you aim to live by – and these are truly valuable!
But, what do you gain from the high expectations that you place upon yourself, time after time?
What do these high expectations represent for you?
What happens if you fail to achieve them?
Learning to ‘soften’ your expectations into goals, hopes or aims, may be another way to re-frame what’s important to you.
Keeping things in ‘black and white’, or ‘success Vs. failure’, can be really hard to work with, and to happily live by.
After all, aren’t we all trying to be happier?
If you find yourself getting stressed, anxious or feeling down a lot of the time – whether this is at work, in a relationship, regarding your body image, or your role as a mother… perhaps it’s time to take a closer look at what’s really motivating you to expect so much of yourself?
I’m always here to help you figure it out.
Wendy Gilroy is a Mother of 2, and a professional Counsellor for women. Wendy has a degree in Psychology, a Masters degree in Addiction Studies, and a Diploma of Counselling. She lives in Sydney, Australia, and offers secure ONLINE counselling for women around the world, as well as telephone, face-to-face and home visit services for mums.
Disclaimer: This is for information purposes only. If you have any concerns about your physical or mental health, please consult your healthcare practitioner for medical advice.