The Invisible Load Exhausting all Mums

You walk in the door at 5:47pm.

You drop your bags and collect half-emptied lunchboxes and water bottles, and place them by the kitchen sink. The breakfast dishes are staring back at you, a familiar reminder that you never really get a break.

You’re exhausted, and you’re yet to start your second shift.

What are we having for dinner?

Time to catch up with the kids, and make sure you’re on top of things they need for the next day.

More cleaning up.

Making sure baths and showers are done.

Prep for tomorrow’s meeting and send a few more emails that you missed earlier in the day.

You quietly hope your mind will switch off tonight, because you’re desperate for a solid night’s sleep.

Even when you get into bed, and your body’s at rest, you’ve noticed that your mind is still racing, you’re wired with thoughts – things to organise, things you ‘can’t forget’, and a worry or two that keep looping on repeat.

This invisible work has a name: The Mental Load.

And research shows that it’s women who unfairly carry the heaviness of it once you’ve had kids.

The mental load is all the remembering, anticipating, planning, organising, emotional support, problem-solving, and monitoring of everyone’s needs… and… It. Never. Ends.

Many mums who have supportive partners who do help out around the house, can still notice their patience running thin, frustration mounting, and being quick to anger some days.

They can feel irritable, overwhelmed, anxious, even resentful – because their mind can’t ever seem to switch off.

Most mums are carrying an extraordinary amount of invisible responsibility.

And without mums prioritising their emotional wellbeing, and being aware of burnout prevention strategies, that could be the path they’re on. Chronic mental overload, can often lead to chronic stress, heightened anxiety, other mental health problems, and burnout.

Here are 4 Practical Ways You Can Lighten Your Mental Load:

1. Get everything out of your head – use a diary, app, or family calendar to keep track of all commitments and events for everyone in your family. When you can ‘release’ it all from your brain, you’ll feel lighter knowing it’s written down in one spot.
2. Stop being the sole keeper of information or tasks – Rather than “I’ll just do it myself” (anyone?!), consider dropping your standards, knowing that done imperfectly is better than carrying a heavier load leading to more exhaustion and frustration.
3. Identify what truly matters – Not everything needs to be done today. Or tomorrow. Prioritise what’s most urgent and most important… everything else can wait.
4. Schedule Mental Recovery – While many mums focus on physical rest which is much needed, mental rest and recovery is equally important (or maybe more important for some of us). You could try walking without your phone or headphones, sitting outside sipping a cup of tea, just listening to the birds, or distant sounds, or maybe just watching the clouds drift by. Moments without input encourages peace and space in your mind.

While motherhood and parenting is full of responsibilities – you were never meant to carry it alone.

Which part of the mental load feels heaviest to you?

Wendy

Disclaimer: This is for information purposes only. If you have any concerns about your physical or mental health, please consult your healthcare practitioner for medical advice.